I’m not sure how to turn it into a joke so I guess I’ll just admit that sometimes the loneliness is overwhelming.
How does one get in touch with the Devil about selling his soul for a waitress he just saw at the bar?
If life is all about eating cashews and watching tv, I’ve really got my shit together.
I hate when I am planning on having a shitty Christmas but a thousand people tell me to have a merry one so I have to oblige.
This is a pretty cool trailer.
I haven’t seen it yet but based on my knowledge of the books and the Swedish films, I wouldn’t take a date to see The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, guys. You know, because of all the rape.
I don’t want you guys to think that I don’t have any friends and only go to the movies but, I just saw Young Adult and it was rather good.
I just saw a HUGE black dude with a mohawk. Hang on, I’ve gotta go make a new friend.
I need a nicer way of saying “Ok, I’ll eat some of your birthday cake but that doesn’t mean I want to be friends so please don’t try to talk to me.”
I hope that my friends never find out that when I say I have plans I mean watching tv.
Hey, The Descendants is really good. You should go watch it. Also, if you haven’t seen any of Alexander Payne’s other movies (Sideways, About Schmidt, Election) what the fuck is wrong with you? Go do that too.
I’ve finally reached the age where I get Christmas cards from friends. I guess that means the fun is over.
I have this really cool habit of asking girls out and then immediately telling them to invite whoever they want so that they can’t tell that its a date. I do this because I am a terrified little man. Anyway, I guess im going to see The Descendants with a group of people tonight!
I found one of those slimy amphibians at the park and I realized that it would make a better president than Newt Gingrich!
Important question: Does the fact that it was directed by Martin Scorsese make it acceptable for a man in his twenties to go see Hugo by himself?
Sometimes when I meet new people I like to pretend that I’m not a cliche white dude that likes to spend Saturday night sitting in faux british pubs sipping IPAs. They always figure me out though. Always.
Some days I get overwhelmingly hungry at 9:30 AM. Some of the time my reaction is to verbally berate myself and continue working. Other times I eat 4 candy bars and then verbally berate myself.
The best part about not having a girlfriend over the holidays is getting to spend a bunch of money on yourself instead of her. The worst part is everything else.
Now that we are closing in on the end of 2011 I’d like to say that my major regret is not listening to that awesome tUnE-yArDs album more. A close second is that I like a band that stylizes their name that way.
I am always the first one to comment on pop culture news so, how about that Sopranos finale? That shit was crazy!
If you throw a party and play anything other than The Black Keys, you can forget about me complimenting your music selection.
Im in some sort of club and very uncomfortable. Please pray to your deity or, you know, just feel sympathy for me.
Fooly Loaded: do you know the awesomeness that is... →
thatdandycandy: titsandsass: if you took all of the awesome in this universe and added it to the awesome in our parallel universe and added that to the awesome of middle earth and gotham city and sparta and beer, you still wouldn’t have enough awesome to properly describe her. she is… You know it’s true
What is the name of that disease that makes you hate wearing pants? I think I have that.
I’m not some sort of laissez-faire republican, I’m more of a liberal who happens to seem laissez-faire because, who has the energy to try to fix things?
macencheeze asked: If the moon were truly made of cheese then what kind of cheese is it?
I must see this movie. Have you seen Hunger? It was also directed by Steve McQueen (not that Steve McQueen) and starring Michael Fassbender (I know at least 10 of you that have lady boners for him). It was great.
Im glad that my last name isn’t Gatsby. It would suck to go through life known as The Forgettable Gatsby.
Keep an eye on Thursday night. As much as it tries to convince you that it’s “essentially the weekend” its not. Don’t fucking listen.
When I say “yeah it’s like that episode of Seinfeld!” to someone and they look at me like they don’t know what the fuck im talking about, it makes me wonder what this life is all about.